have you ever been afraid to do something that you know is required in order to go to the next level? it's necessary but because of you're track record of what appears to be more losses than wins - leaping with #ratchetfaith almost feels ridiculous? that's me, right now. it's time to research graduate schools. and i found quite a few caterpillars that are transforming into butterflies in my belly as i type.
i'm typing this post in lower case on purpose. i feel small in comparison to this big idea that God so delicately placed in my soul. i feel tinier than my most fleeting thought. grad school is part of the idea God placed in my soul and i can't do what He has called me to do unless i do this first. going back to school is not an option - it's mandatory. sure there are lots of ministers that preach and teach and offer resources to community members without advanced education. many of those ministers do the work of the Lord excellently. but God is ushering me back to school.
does God realize these schools have committees that will judge my experiences, academic history and character in order to determine acceptance or rejection. eeeeek. i thought it was important to write through this experience, because writing helps me to expose fear, doubt and insecurity so that i can get on with it. and i'm sure i'm not the only one who knows you're qualified but your shaking in your boots. i graduated with my undergrad degree in 2000 (william paterson university of nj) and started a masters of arts in liberal studies program in 2006 (dartmouth college) but i'm nervous.
me: what if my application is rejected?
God: So what! You may not be accepted to every school but there's one perfect for you!
His call on my life is secure and there is definitely graduate school programs that are perfect just for me. online. part time. full time.
i never considered an online degree because i love engaging people. i love being in the midst of people who are all pushing for the same finish line. but earlier this week i surrendered my plan for grad school and told God "i'm open to how you lead this season". so i am open to the idea of obtaining a master's degree online. talk about doing something different (read my article about doing something different). as i read through some of the descriptors on different campuses i began to feel confident that i can do this successfully.
i just want to live my best life (john 10:10). i want to be where i'm supposed to be according to God's plan for my life. even if where i'm supposed to be looks dangerous, challenging or unknown. i know He called me to do a special work and if that means i have to go back to school then let's go. i invite you to join me on this journey by following these hashtags #backtoschoolbeleah and #ratchetfaithgrad
while writing this blog i got a call from a fordham university admissions counselor. i'm even more excited now. i'm grateful for my friend shari loveday of http://www.purposegirlpower.com/about/ she gave me the best advice about applying to grad school. she said stay prayed up and to be open about the process; there are so many schools with excellent programs but i need to discern which is the best fit for me vs the best overall!
if you are going back to school and you are:
older than 20 years old
have a family or take care of family members
have been out of college for 10+ years
have seen your share of life's setbacks and/or traumas
not feeling as confident as you would hope to
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS!
Apply to the schools.
Don't give up.
If the rejection letters come - keep applying.
Trust God's process for your academic and soon to be transforming professional life
Listen for God's voice.
Be still and know that God has you and this process secured.
Praise God in the hallways (before you get the acceptance letters).