i want(ed) that
I'm not even sure how to start this piece because it is about my wake up call. I got a call about 3 weeks ago and the voice on the other end was not of man but God - Himself. I speak to God regularly with the expectation that He will speak back, so I try to listen during prayer. I try to study God's word and spend some time waiting, because I want to hear God. But what He said about 3 weeks ago rocked my whole world. He wrecked my entire life and I'm better for it!
I thought coveting meant that blood had to be shed in order for someone to take what did not belong to them. In fact Exodus 20:17 says nothing about taking what does not belong to you (that's stealing); but having the desire for something that does not belong to you is coveting! I have no idea why I had this train of thinking but I did. And while The Lord was removing the veil from my immature eyes I saw me. My ugliest self. My thirstiest self. It was terrible to see me like that. I think the most painful part of that reflection looking back at me was I knew God in that moment was inviting me to change.
The most terrible part of this revelation was that I had been coveting my entire life. I have always wanted something that did not belong to me. I wanted my sister's complexion when we were younger. I wanted the texture of my cousin's hair when we were younger. I wanted someone else man in my late 20's. I wanted another woman's body last month! I used to covet other people's: bodies, lives, vacations, degrees, homes, experiences, careers, artistry, vehicles, incomes, savings etc.
Coveting is sin. There is nothing sexy, righteous or desirable about wanting something that does not belong to you.
No lusting after your neighbor’s house—or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.
Every single time God shows us our ugliest, He is doing so not to torment, embarrass or degrade us - He is doing it to invite us to change, grow, and be wiser. He knows the core of who we are. Yahweh knows what we are like when nobody is watching! He hears our thoughts before we even think them and every time He lets us listen to ourselves or see ourselves He is doing so to wake us up.
My name is Leah & I used to covet.
I wanted almost everything that other people had and very little of what I had. Coveting stirred up discontentment in my own life. Coveting was a way of life for me. I lived an alternative lifestyle separate from The Christ even though I was showing up to worship every week and sometimes to prayer meeting during the week. I would share on social media my testimony of being with The Christ and all that time I was living a lie. HYPOCRITE! I used to go to church and covet! It created this nastiness inside of me that covered my eyes to the amazing fruit that God has harvested just for me, my husband, and children.
Today I stand F R E E . Free from the burden of coveting. Free from the burden of discontentment. Free from the demonic strongholds that accompany coveting. And every time coveting tries to slide back into my DM I am grateful for The Holy Spirit that nudges me to delete and block that sucker! Freedom requires that I #staywoke because the enemy will find a reason to try to tempt me to covet again.
So today, if you are not sure that you are coveting then please ask God to reveal it to you. If you are practicing a lifestyle of coveting I declare that you do not have to for one more moment! This can be your FREEDOM SONG! Today can be the day that you get FREE from wanting other people's stuff, lives, and/or bodies. You are not that far away from freedom! God who created heaven earth and you and me wants nothing more than for you to live free on this earth! Free from anything that would have you bound, enslaved, lacking liberty!
Let's be free in Jesus name (John 8:36)
A prayer for us.
God in heaven thank you for all the ways that you have poured out your ridiculous love on us and I am asking that you defeat the spirit of coveting in our lives. Lord you have shown me that our entire culture points us to coveting. Sometimes we call is desiring, wanting, or needing but in so many cases we are indeed coveting. Yahweh continue to chase us so that we can in formation and be ready for your return. In Jesus name. Amen.