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digging deeper

I think it is hilarious that my blogging schedule is so closely related with the events, challenges, and victories in my personal life. Yesterday, I had a little talk with Jesus about my life, needs, desires and His blueprint. There is an area of my life that I have been wrestling with for years. It's one of those issues that I can't hide even though I thought I was hiding it extremely well.

My struggle with my body is lifelong. My body has carried lots of weight emotionally and physically. I have hated my body. I have punished, abused, and misused my body. The very space that God calls His temple, I have treated like it was garbage. But today, I recognize that my body is amazing. I acknowledge God taking up residence in me and for that I see how valuable it is. I see how valuable I am. It knows very well how to maintain & lose pounds and inches. This 39 year old body has carried children internally & externally. My 39 year old body has experienced hurt, abuse, misuse, and neglect.

I have fallen and gotten back up. I have been hurt and been healed. But I am blessed that the Lord would choose me to live in this skin. This 39 year old body has traveled to Panama, Jamaica, Ghana, Canada Puerto Rico, Texas, Seattle, and the entire east coast of the USA. I have enjoyed pleasure in my body. I have jumped puddles, created children, blown bubbles, read poetry in front of small & large audiences, sang, worshiped, danced, planted gardens, rode bikes, gone roller skating and adorned my body. My body is a treasure regardless of what it has been through, looks or feels like. Regardless of where I travel I recognize the beauty and value it has, because I was made in God's image. And His image is perfect! Today, I am grateful to God for my body. Our bodies are beautiful and amazing treasures. You deserve to be a good steward over this vessel that you've been blessed to nurture.

The last 2 years I have hit spiritual, emotional and physical valleys. I have been "building homes" and "setting up businesses" in this valley but this is not where God has called me to be. The valley is not defined by weight loss or gain, the rigor of my exercise routine, or how many calories I have eaten. The valley is disobedience. God has been tugging at me to get out of this valley for awhile now. But sometimes the valley is fun, comfortable, and downright tasty. The valley is interesting, because although the valley is not comfortable and at times is painful it is amazing because it presents the opportunity to reevaluate the plans, climb, dig, grow, and/or move forward. Deciding to obey can be really uncomfortable because a lot of the disobedience we actively engage in brings us comfort and attempt to fill a void from past hurts and disappointments.

My goal is no longer to wear a certain dress size, to witness a magic number on the scale or having a particular feeling when I am standing naked in the mirror. I'm longing for my Father in Heaven to say " W E L L D O N E L E A H " because I decided to follow His direction for my mind, body, and soul. The goal for me in this season is to dig deep into my soil, pull up all the roots that contributed to poor stewardship of my body and then to obey God's word as He leads me and finally to be grateful that I am arriving.

I desire to follow the blueprint that God has given to me. I want to follow the plan that He wrote into my DNA. The same blueprint that He wrote before He established light and darkness is the one that is still relevant today! I no longer want to venture away from the perfect plan God has for me. My desires are not better than His plan. Today, i'm following The Lord. If there is an area in your life that you have been struggling with or you have been complacent in and you are sure that God is tugging at you, then I encourage you to surrender, repent, and go His way. It is possible that you have already been delivered from the struggle but you need to follow up with obedience. God has a perfect plan for our lives to prosper us, but we have to follow Him.

We can do this!

We can live in obedience because Jesus desires this lifestyle.

Ask Him for His help!


James 1:2-4

Psalm 119:162

Romans 8:37

Romans 12:1-2

Genesis 1:29

2 Chronicles 7:14

Psalm 104:14

Galatians 5:1

Isaiah 30:21

Acts 5:29

1 Peter 1:14

Isaiah 1:19

John 10:27-28

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