I freeze. The last 22 days I've been digging up weeds in my personal (spiritual, physical, emotional) garden. I've been praying. I've been expecting God to show me things about myself that I normally bypass. Writing in my journal has become easier than normal. As I sense new information about my garden I jot it down, I spend time listening to what I believe God is saying on that specific issue.
On June 14, 2017 I discerned something huge! I heard God telling me about my response to fear! When i'm afraid, I freeze. Some people take flight, others run for cover, and some hide when there is a scary or traumatic experience unfolding. Some people fight. They fight their way out of the situation physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. And then there are people like me who F R E E Z E .
While I read Alexis' post from last week I got this incredible urge to do a Spartan Sprint! I know how exciting. However, as I thought about me doing the race I got scared. Afraid that I would not be able to finish the race. Afraid that the team I race with will give up on me. Afraid that the team I race with will be so annoyed with how much slower I might be. Scared enough to not finish my free trial to an online workout community. Scared enough to consider myself a fool to think I could do something so hard or challenging! The issue with fear in general is that we... no I (making it personal) am afraid of something bad happening but the event has not even happened yet!
My fear is a trap. A trap to not only stop me but to disable me from even considering fighting back or running anyway.
However, since declaring that I would do a Spartan, God is consistently reminding that He did not birth fear inside of me. God keeps bringing me back to this timeless scripture that tells me
I WAS NOT
BORN WITH FEAR. FEAR WAS NOT WRITTEN INTO MY DNA. BUT GOD INFUSED ME WITH LOVE, POWER, AND
A SOUND MIND!
So, i'm going to go for it. I'm going to keep trying even if it is hard! I'm going to keep trying even if i get bored. I'm going to keep trying even if i'm triggered! And I will probably be blogging about preparing for the Spartan hope you don't mind.
Will you keep going? Will you trust God's word when it says that He gave you LOVE, POWER, AND A SOUND MIND? Will you take the time necessary to reevaluate your fear? Will you call on your peeps and ask them to pray for you when you get scared? We have a powerful choice to make. Stay afraid or trust God when we are afraid (Psalm 56:3).
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