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NOVEMBER 28  | Grateful for healthy sex.

I have survived sexual violence more than once, and I have experienced some unhealthy sexual experiences that were consensual but today I am so thankful to experience healthy sex with my husband Ché. Gratitude doesn't even cover how I feel about doing life with a brother that is intentional about co-creating a sexual space for us that is safe, enjoyable, and healthy. 

Photo Credit: 

Keith Claytor

I recognize that sexual safety is not defined by any one concept or value. Truth is, my pre-marital sexual experiences (consensual and non-consensual) has had huge impact on our marital sexual experiences. Today I was reminded of these truths from a friend who posted on her Facebook (see below) and I took a risk to answer it based on my own personal toolbox. I am not a therapist or sexual health expert. These tools are literally what I have done and continue to do in order to exercise my God-given sexuality. My goal is to be my healthiest self spiritually, financially, sexually, physically, and emotonally. So I share these thoughts with you as well, hope my responses encourage you!

My Response  1. Consistently and intentionally practice and remind self of God's promises about restoration and His perfect design for our bodies and how our minds and sexuality are not disconnected from the rest of ourselves. 

2. Journaling

3. Therapy

4. Giving self grace

5. Be patient 

6. Welcoming God to be part of our sexuality and sexual experiences

7. Ask God to refine discernment and wisdom 

8. Explore what kinds of healthy boundaries are needed 

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